We transact with people every day – we buy coffee, petrol, do favours for friends or whatever. Some of these are obviously financial (like buying coffee), others are less so but are still an exchange of goods, favours, services or whatever. The saying “ain’t no such thing as free pussy” illustrates this quite well.
How does this relate to you giving me money for nothing in return?
Perhaps the easiest way to explain that is this..how do you feel when you do something purely unselfish? It might be making wifey breakfast in bed for no particular reason, surprising a friend with a gift or just holding a door for someone. Generally afterwards you feel pretty good right?
That’s no accident. Even with “unselfish” acts there’s still an element of reward. It makes you feel good.
Basically this is similar. You give me money because It makes you feel good.
Sometimes if I’m sad or depressed about something I’ll go and do something nice for someone else. I get to do something nice for someone and it makes me feel better which can bring me out of my funk. I like efficient solutions and that one’s a win/win situation. If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself and see how you feel afterwards.
There’s obviously a bit more to it than that but imho Financial domination is basically an extension of that principle. It’s the most fundamental sort of transaction. You (apparently) don’t “get” anything in return because the act of giving is an act of submission which is itself the reward.
From my side of things – growing up my parents instilled in me a strong work ethic. I value money and the freedom it affords me. I like to work but I also particularly love the reward (i.e. getting paid). For me removing the “work” part of a transaction is a bit like removing the “getting-something-in-return” part for the sub. It gets rid of the product, since all we’re interested in is the transaction itself and what it represents.
I’m used to working for my reward (pay), so for me to get paid without (apparently) having done anything to earn that is basically a shortcut to hitting on one of the key reward centres in my brain.
So basically you have a sub who gets off on handing over “power” (in this case in the form of cash), and me who gets off on receiving “power” (in this case cash)..i.e. the getting paid part.
If you’ve done any physical “power exchange” play in the form of BDSM or whatever you’ll probably know that you can (both) end up on a massive high during and after a session (if not you’re not doing it right, try again!).
By repeating this power exchange process several times over the course of a session you can induce a pretty powerful endorphin-high in both the sub and the Domme and this is exactly what we aim to do with a FinDomme session.
This high is from the endorphins released by our bodies during the session and if done right it can be a *very* powerful and long-lasting positive experience. These endorphins behave quite similarly in the body to morphine, so you can perhaps get an idea of the sort of feelings involved once higher levels start to come into play.
Based on my own experience imho the high from a good findomme session can be as good or better than the high one gets from illicit substances, and can last anything up to a couple of days.
For me the feeling is up there with the kind of sensation you get from driving *really* fast, having an “out-there” dungeon session, “partying like a rock-star” or having an amazing 3-day shag-a-thon with the love of your life.
But it also has a lovely warm glow like being in love, which i think is perhaps how fin-subs can develop a sort of “deity-like” adoration for their Dominant, hence perhaps the prevalence of the “princess”, “goddess” terms in the scene.
If the FinDomme session is done right, the pared-down “transaction” and surrounding play can become a really fun way of triggering that endorphin release.
That Sounds like it could get expensive
Yes, it can get that way, but like with anything the fun is in the journey. You can actually start to enjoy financial domination with quite modest amounts of money since imho it’s not really about the money, the money is just a medium for power-exchange. It’s really about the control (or loss of) which is implicit in the transaction, which is often worth more than the money to those involved.
It’s possible to end up chasing bigger and bigger highs which is where it gets expensive. Evidently people enjoy and derive value from the process otherwise they wouldn’t keep doing it.
That sounds like it might be kinda addictive…
Yes it can be. Just like doing anything which makes you feel really good can be addictive. Also I would have to say that since financial domination is such a concentrated, focussed thing which is intended to push your limits, that can make it even more addictive.
I’d say to a large extent this is where one’s social responsibility comes into play (as a Domme and a human being). Quite often clients may come in asking “to be ruined” but what they really need is me to just scare them a little bit. The logical “fetishised endpoint” of that would be something along the lines of (consensual or consensually-non-consensual) slavery/ruin, so it’s understandable that financial-subs often focus on that as a “stated goal”. Whilst some do, in practice few want to go that far.
Even those who DO want to go further should (imho) be managed responsibly. Literally making a sub homeless is idiotic, not to mention short-term thinking and likely bad for business too. Like with any kind of domination session, the Domme needs to have a sense for how far she can push the sub without seriously endangering their well-being. The Fun and Finesse lies in walking that edge, pushing your client but doing so in a way which doesn’t totally ruin their (and their dependents’) lives.
I guess beyond that you might just have to give it a go for yourself 🙂
Now send me your money!
I think somehow distilling the power-exchange process down to its very core means it taps directly into both our reward centres, which means it can produce that huge endorphin rush which both Domme and sub enjoy.
I also like things which extend beyond the session…if I take your lunch money, the rumble in your stomach is a reminder, and thereby becomes part of our session.
I like to devise a plan specifically for each sub, but activities would potentially include subjects like:
- cum tax/chastity
- games of chance/dice/roulette etc
- teamviewer domination/draining
…and a whole lot more.
It’s all about me. Remember that and you’ll do well 😉
Should I continue?
If you’re reading this and wondering why on earth you might want to send me money and get (essentially) nothing in return then that’s a fair question. answered here.
As much as I enjoy the concept of findom and alternative forms of power exchange I never really thought I was particularly well placed to carry it out since I’m actually a bit of a mess financially atm. To my thinking so far findom should be done out of a desire for control and greed rather than to pay bills, and I figured needing to pay bills would cloud judgement on the matter.
Well as it turns out one of my cam regulars I was chatting with and we were discussing the subject and I explained the above, yet somehow 5mins later he was begging me to donate. To keep it about fun we agreed that I would only spend his money on luxuries and hopefully with that we sidestepped the issue I had with it.
So now to start off with he goes without his “daily allowance” one day a week – no pub lunches, no snacks, no petrol and instead I blow his money on something fun for me. The gnawing in his belly, the dwindling fuel gauge etc are all reminders of what he’s giving up so I can enjoy a little more luxury.
We plan to take it further but I figured start off gently – and I must say I fucking love it! The money aspect is fine but actually not actually as important as I thought it would be, but the element of ongoing control over his life…omg! That gives me a proper buzz far greater than I ever could have hoped for.
We have a number of fetish interests in common so it’s not like that’s the only thing in the relationship by any stretch, and he was someone I always enjoyed having fucked up chats with anyway, but it’s been taken to a new level 🙂
anyhow – that’s all 🙂 I’ll post updates as and when they occur.