[CW: This is intended for trans women and goes into detail about neovaginas/surgically created vaginas of post-op trans-women, though may also be applicable for cis women with vaginismus and similar issues.]
*** This page is all based on my own experience and understanding of how these things work, I am not a medical professional, this is not medical advice. MY experience (obviously) relates to surgery performed using the Suporn Method but will also be broadly applicable to other methods. Do you own research. Don’t Trust, Verify. But if what I’m saying aligns with your experience then great, if not then lucky you, perhaps your stuff went differently.
Ok so dilating is a bitch, right? and whilst I consider myself extremely lucky to have been under the care of Dr Suporn and his phenomenal clinic staff it was still a very challenging process. After surgery the Suporn Clinic issues you with a lovely presentation box which contains 3 dilators small (26mm diameter CHECK), medium (32mm) and large (36mm).
The suporn dilators are what looks like perspex and even in thailand i found the point on them to be too aggressive, and given how we were encouraged to be kinda rough with our new NV i found that painful, especially on the small one (narrower diameter, pointier point). Thankfully i was into doing acrylic nails at the time so happened to have some wet and dry sandpaper in my makeup back and bought a second small dilator from the clinic (cos I didn’t want to ruin the only one i had) and sanded the tip down to a more rounded shape which was way better for me.
We were strongly encouraged to get onto the Large dilator as quickly as possible and when I complained that it was painful was basically told to just shove it in and get over it. I did what I was told and as a consequence actually ripped some stitches at about 6 weeks post-op which meant I needed yet another (3rd) minor revision. This was very annoying as my NV was basically *perfect* at the time and I thought I was done with revisions. I wished I’d listened to my body instead of the nurses.
Neo-vaginas (‘NV’s) are naturally not as stretchy as cis-vaginas (‘CV’s) and (as far as I understand it) especially around month 3-4 post-op when the scar tissue forms the NV basically “sets” and however it is at that point is basically how it’s gonna be forever, so if you’re gonna get onto the large dilator, it needs to be before that point. Making scar tissue stretch is actually possible but it’s an extremely slow and laborious process.
Also once you’re stretched to your “limit”, say 32mm, going up even by 1mm can be extremely painful, so for me the jump from the Medium (32mm) to the Large (36mm) was basically impossible. The tips of the dilators were somewhat tapered but not really gently enough to make the jump. Especially as I had good depth I would have been better suited with a device which was tapered along its length rather than just the tip.
For me at about the 3-4 month post-op period I ran into trouble, my NV started getting tighter and tighter and i went from being on the large dilator to barely being able to fit the small one, and then I couldn’t even fit that. PANIC. This was a critical time and i was losing depth too because i couldn’t dilate properly. We had been warned that lost depth would be impossible to regain so this was not good. Thankfully i had 6.5″ depth initially which was more than the promised 6″ and more than the standard CV which is allegedly around 5″.
Unfortunately the promised “aftercare by email” never seemed to happen, I didn’t even get an email checking i’d arrived home alive/intact and was kinda pissed off about that. I probably should have emailed but suspect i would have just been told to shove it in there and get over it.
Now idk if you know this but I was/am quite into piercings. Before surgery (and as you may have seen in my old pre-op videos I had a pretty large piercing on the lower side of my foreskin, which went through the “seam” and gave amazing sensation. I’d stretched this over time to accommodate 2x 5mm Ball-closure rings (BCRs) and it felt fantastic, and was one of my USPs as a camgirl too.
Now with stretching a piercing you don’t just “shove it in and get over it” because you will injure yourself. You use the natural (albeit slight) elasticity of the tissue and go up in small increments over time or use something tapered. The key being *gently* and over time.
Once you’ve stretched a piercing to a certain point and let it “heal” at that point for a while it’ll generally stay like that. If you take the piercing out it’ll no doubt shrink back a bit but you can usually quite easily get back to (e.g. in my case fitting the 2x 5mm BCRs).
At the point I ran into trouble with my NV “closing up” was around the 3-4 month post-op stage which as mentioned is a crucial time. I was panicking and didn’t know what to do.
What I needed was a set of dilators which was tapered – so i could treat this more like a piercing than just relying on “just shove it in and get over it”.
Solution – and HOPE!
Thankfully I found a set of dilators which matched what I felt I needed. They’re from Vagiwell, made of pure body-safe silicone and each is tapered by about 2mm. [link to set]
It was expensive and at the time there was only one place to get it and it took like 2 weeks to arrive and by the time it did I couldn’t get the small (26mm suporn) dilator in anymore so was thinking “shit this is game over”. But I started with one of the smaller vagiwell dilators (around a finger thickness) and it really helped. Within a couple of days I was up to the largest-but-one (pink one) and then eventually after a while the biggest (28-30mm, yellow) one.
I recommend the Vagiwell kit unreservedly and would advise anyone considering SRS/GCS to buy a set BEFORE your op so you’re not stuck waiting at a critical time sinc etime is critical at that point. I have advised several of my trans friends to do the same – some listened (and then later agreed as they also had problems) some didn’t (I guess they figured it out some other way or didn’t have problems). I am not a Vagiwell affiliate and i paid full price for my own set so nobody is paying me to say nice things about them.
The grade of silicone is soft enough that you can move around without risk of injury (like from a hard perspex dilator) and I found with the smaller ones I could just pop it in and my panties would keep it in place. The natural movement of me moving around also made the device more effective than it’s size – so 15mm + movement gave an effective diameter of maybe 18-20mm. There was HOPE at last!
The main issue I had with this full-time dilating approach was that we’d been instructed to only use water-based lube like the stuff you get from the nhs and KY Jelly. To use the gentle stretching (piercing) approach I needed to leave the vagiwell dilator in for longer periods and the water based lube would dry out and then the dilator basically was glued in place and I couldn’t get it out again a couple of times. Since things were going off the rails anyway, again, a different approach was needed.
I tried a few different tings, including vaseline, the “sylk” lube which came with the vagiwell dilators, baby oil, aloe vera gel: 100% only, you’ll regret anything less, yes even 98/99% contains alcohol/additives which will burrrrrn and make things worse – it has to be the 100% pure stuff.
The more “oily” types worked better but even vaseline was eventually absorbed/dried out and resulted in a stuck dilator, albeit not as bad as the water-based lubes.
For reference if stuck I suspect a shower/bath would have helped get things moving, otherwise be patient, don’t just yank it out.
What ended up working for me was “Nivea Soft” which is a hand cream and is extremely slippery/greasy and seems to take a long while to be absorbed. Cocoa butter/shea butter might be similar, you might have to experiment a bit. It’s what I still use now when I’ve neglected dilating for too long and need to work my way back up, though I tend to “flush” by dilating with water-based lube afterwards.
This meant I could just put one of the smaller dilators in and wear my panties over the top and go to sleep and just by moving around during the night + time, that would actually increase the effectiveness of the dilator. So even if I only had a 15mm dilator, over the course of the night that would effectively give me 18-20mm.
The vagiwell dilators are very well designed so that each follows on from the next. So (these are not the exact sizes but) e.g. 10-12mm, 12-14mm, 14-16mm etc. Each one started where the previous one finished – so there’s no painful jump like trying to go 32mm->36mm like on the Suporn dilators. whilst at the start (at its worst) I could only just get a finger in there, within just a few days of using this approach I was back up to the biggest 30mm and then able to get back onto the small suporn dilator.
I wasn’t super happy about using the oily Nivea lube but I was very happy to have my NV back in better shape. I periodically would dilate with water-based lube to “flush it out”. This was 8+ years ago now and I haven’t had any issues as a result – other than the nivea tastes weird so if you’re getting “oral pleasure”, don’t use that right before 😉
OK so this works then…
So with a little patience and a lot of Nivea Soft, I was then quite quickly able to get back up to the biggest Vagiwell dilator (28-30mm) and from that the jump to the medium Suporn one (32mm) was tolerable – I was back in the game! (on the game?)
I did seem to have lost a little depth but not loads and actually the approach of leaving the dilator in overnight also seemed to help regain most of what I lost. I’m back to about 6″ depth now and at its worst it was more like 4″, so quite an impressive recovery.
Hallelujah! Actual progress.
Where do we go from here?
ok so I was able to comfortably get onto the large (yellow) vagiwell dilator (28-30mm) and whilst it was a struggle to get onto the medium Suporn one (32mm) I could usually make the jump, just. Ideally I would have liked a larger vagiwell one e.g. 30-32mm and 32-34mm, maybe even 34-36 too, but they don’t/didn’t exist, but for the life of me I could not get onto the large (36mm) suporn one anymore.
This situation persisted for a year or more, and the large (30mm) vagiwell dilator was a bit too big to leave in my panties overnight, and the 32mm suporn one was rigid perspex and needed holding in place, plus any movement and I’d likely do myself an injury.
However, as many of y’all will know, ya girl it mad about cars and bikes and I do a a fair bit of welding and was getting a bit into some basic machining at the time, so had bought a small lathe. So I thought.. hmm well i guess it’s just perspex isn’t it, and its (more or less) round and at this point it’s of zero use to me so I stuck it in the lathe and cut a very gentle taper.
I wasn’t able to set up a smooth taper so essentially it was done by making steps and then smoothing those steps, and finally sanding it and polishing with progressively finer sandpapers, till I ended up on 1000grit wet which is what I normally used at the stage before cutting and polishing on a car panel (it’s *very* smooth).
Obviously the surface has to be *perfect* since anyone who’s ever tried dilating and had a hair caught in the mix knows it can be quite painful when at “full stretch” so we had to be smooth to better than ~50 microns.
It did however work, and rather well in fact. I still use the combo of the nivea soft and these dilators today 8+ years later with (as far as I can tell) no ill effects, though I do tend to try and flush it out by dilating with water-based lube afterwards. Also, especially at this stage for me I don’t really need much of the nivea, so a little blob or some baby oil and I’m good to go.
At the time I was working with an offshoot of the company which made the breast vacuum devices at the time (noogleberry brand, but not the NB company – long story, not mine to share) doing their marketing and they were very open to new ideas for products and I pitched them the idea of a line of dilators designed specifically for trans women. They thought it was a great idea – they already sold dilators but I looked at them and wasn’t terribly impressed so I mocked something up in CAD and they forwarded it to their manufacturing guys in Pakistan to produce a prototype.
The product was supposed to be made out of silicone but the prototypes came back as chrome plated stainless steel. Beautifully made and still *by far* the best dilators (and also as it turns out dildos) I own. I dread to think what they would have cost to make but likely at least a couple of hundred quid a piece, so whilst I let them know that actually these were perfect as is, reselling them wasn’t really feasible since who’s gonna pay £150+ for a chromed dildo/dilator, no matter how beautiful and functional it was.
I affectionately call these “robocock” since initially when inserted they can be quite cold, but if you happen to have fantasies about fucking robots (which I do)…well…it’s not an unpleasant thing 😉 After a while it warms up to body temp and then is weirdly warm and human, and being solid stainless steel it retains the heat for a while too – so then feels weirdly more human than the perspex/plastic/silicone ones which just sorta stay the same temp-wise.
The design has a little finger-hole on the end to make it easy to keep a hold of with lubey fingers, and the flat disk portion also stops over-insertion ad feels nice (and looks nice)… and (for me anyway) it was pretty much a perfect design. Due to its rigidity and the finger hole on the end, and the precision that gives, it also happens to be the best way for me to trigger knee-trembling multiple orgasms (when combined with my doxy diecast on the outside). I have even managed to trigger squirting with it which i didn’t think was actually possible, but here we are. Confusing, but also not unpleasant.
I designed two prototypes, you’ll notice the second one has an indentation near the top which was intended to make it easier to keep in place. Since (for me anyway) the cut in the PC muscle (the “door frame” if you will) is the bit that needs stretching and contracts, not the skin inside so much. However I must have got the measurements wrong because where the PC muscle sits was actually a bit further down so nice idea but didn’t really work in practice. The main one I use is the one with a straight taper which is 30-32mm, and is enough to get me onto the medium suporn (32mm) one and from there I can work my way onto the (now tapered on the lathe) Large suporn one (~34-36mm). SORTED!
Unfortunately whilst I’ve wanted to have PIV sex with a couple of guys, so far the maths has been against us, and whilst a big cock might sound like fun, guys with a raging boner aren’t their most rational/reasonable of beings (such emotional creatures lol) and if I’m tied up and he crams it in there anyway and damages something I’m the one who’d be on a very painful and expensive 13-hour flight back to Thailand for repairs. So, I’m sorry but hell the fuck no.
Unfortunately when covid hit the company who I’d been working for and was going to produce this line of dilators, decided to shut down. The international shipping was just killing it, so these are the only two ever made. Thanks covid 🙁
So nothing much happened there – I have my robocock dilator/dildo which would also function well as a blunt instrument for self defence at a push (or to break glass to escape a vehicle) and whilst they’re the only two ever likely to exist, I ought to be covered.
Then a couple of my trans friends got their SRS/GCS and have had similar issues. I was talking to one and offered to send her my spare robocock to test and see if it helped but her SRS/GCS was done using the uk method and didn’t have the same sort of depth so there wasn’t really much point as there wouldn’t be room for the taper to really work.
This appears to be a common issue though, and since depths vary wildly based on the amount of starting material and the method used (e.g. 3-7″), the idea of making a “one size fits all” tapered dilator tuns out to be a bit of a fallacy (or should that be phallacy?).
This did however spark a conversation about making custom dilators – so one could specify a depth, a starting diameter and a finishing diameter, as well as a profile – i.e. whether it ought to be a smooth taper, wavy, stepped (e.g in 0.5mm increments) or whatever. Each one is a hand-made one-off so it can be whatever you like.
We realised that we might not be the only ones with this issue and perhaps I ought to put up a page on here offering custom made dilators…so here we are.
So what are the options?
Materials-wise we looked into it and there seemed to be 3 main choices – perspex (like the suporn dilators), polycarbonate (lexan) and Delrin (acetal).
We looked at the safety sheets for each and it seems like polycarbonate gives off phthalates which are bad apparently, but as far as we could tell it looks like perspex and delrin would be ok/bodysafe.
I have made a composite anal probe in the past which used (lengthways) bonded layers of aluminium and polycarbonate which was then turned on the lathe to produce a thoroughly evil (and rather effective) anal probe which could be used on a fucking machine, but I didn’t know about the phthalates thing and aluminium has it’s own issues too (links to alzheimers risk) – but then if you’re looking to get assfucked by a machine with an electrified anal probe, a few little phthalates probably aren’t the main threat in this scenario and the sub I built it for wasn’t bothered anyway.
[pic of the anal probe]
I liked the idea of polycarbonate because it doesn’t crack or shatter (it’s what’s used in bulletproof glass) and machines beautifully but the phthalates thing seems to rule it out.
Perspex would probably give a nicer look because it’s clear, but it’s actually surprisingly expensive. A 30cm bar of around 35mm diameter was about £36 just for the materials (for example here) , nevermind several hours spent on the lathe shaping and finishing it to make it perfect. I also need to allow about 30mm of “wasted” space at the end since it needs to get held in the lathe chuck and that leaves marks.
Whilst there’s potentially ways to avoid the marks i can’t get around the fact that the end needs gripping firmly in the chuck so I can either chop that part off or leave it, but that wasted space would need to be there initially at least. And whilst a bar of that length would possibly make 2 dilators at a push (only needs to be gripped once) the time involved would still make it quite expensive.
Also the only experience I’ve had with perspex so far was modifying the suporn Large (36mm) dilator and that was only a light cut. I’m aware that perspex can crack so it’s possible that deeper cuts would cause problems, or it would need cutting very gradually which is slower (and time is money).
Delrin is a little less visually pleasing but it comes in a bunch of colours and seems to be a bit cheaper than perspex – roughly £26 for a 30cm x 40mm round bar (e.g. here ), it machines beautifully and the lathe bit goes through it like butter. Super easy to work with and I use it a lot for bike stuff and random things I make. It’s solvent-proof, doesn’t crack and is generally very tough, so if you drop it, it won’t crack or shatter like the perspex may.
* I have dropped my suporn dilators and they have never cracked but it was never onto a hard surface and if you’ve just spent £100+ on a custom dilator, I’m sure it cracking would be very annoying indeed.
I did try making a device out of silicone – first by making a clay master, casting that into a silicone (female mould) and then casting the “male” into that, however I didn’t understand about release sprays so just ended up with a very expensive cylinder of silicone. I tried again by casting into plaster of paris and using several of the clone-a-willy kits which sorta worked but I wasn’t really happy with the surface finish and I think it would need a de-gassing chamber to improve on that, which was deeper into moulding than I have the space or time to get into. I did end up with a usable prototype but when stretched the surface finish matters a *lot* and I didn’t really end up using it.
Conclusion: Custom dilators available
So this is where we got to – I don’t know if there’s any interest in this but if if you’re a trans woman (or cis, all welcome here) who is struggling with the same issue and you either need a dilator modifying to add a taper, or want a completely custom one built to your specifications then let me know either via my contact form or drop me an email to email@example.com.
One could potentially also cast them out of bodysafe silicone (which I have done a little of) but it’s not really where my experience is, machining is more my bag.
This is not a cheap option – the materials are not cheap and nor is my time but if you’re stuck between dilators like I was, I would have easily paid £100+ to be able to get onto the large one again and if that’s all that’s standing between you and having sex with the person you wanna fuck with then he/they might well be happy to make it happen. If it wasn’t such a unique situation I’m sure there would be off-the shelf items already but here we are.
The finish can be fine matte (which is what I prefer) or polished. Polished is more work and doesn’t seem to hold lube as well. Whilst I started off wanting to polish the Large suporn one again once I found the matte surface retained lube better I didn’t bother. I guess the tradeoff with matte is that it needs a little more careful cleaning but 1000 grit wet is *very* smooth so it’s not like it’s a “rough” surface which picks up dirt. idk, personally I ended up preferring the matte. I don’t think delrin will polish really so that would always come in matte.
Also if you just want ones making for pleasure – e.g. wavy profile with taper etc then that’s also fine. Just let me know the details and dimensions of what you want and we can go from there. The perspex ones will take longer and the raw material is more expensive so they’re considerably more expensive but it’s there as an option.
The end cost will be determined by the specification, how long it takes to make and whether it’s to be polished or not so the prices below are just a guide. I will need to quote each item individually. Ideally you can just send me a photo of a drawing on a post-it note and some dimensions and I can make whatever you want.
There’s also potential for “special” addons – e.g. if you want the end threaded to fit a particular fucking machine or have a handle made I can also do stuff like that. Each one is hand-made and a one-off so no two will be alike, but that means you can have pretty much whatever you want to suit your particular situation.
For a delrin one with no frills and *up to* 280mm x 40mm you’d be looking at about £100 inc delivery within the UK.
For a perspex one up to 280mm x 35mm you’d be looking at about £120 (matte) or £150 polished
I would suggest leaving the additional area on the thick end (where it gets held in the lathe by the chuck) since whilst I can “part” (cut) that off, if we need to make adjustments (which is entirely possible) I’ll have to start over rather than just you send it back and we adjust the profile a little. One round of adjustments would be free, including uk postage. Beyond that POA.
I am happy to post internationally but the postage will be a bit more expensive and I’ll need to get a quote for that before I can say for sure how much it will be. It will also depend on how much of rush you’re in.
Please note since one end gets held in the chuck on the lathe and (for accuracy) the other end is held with a live centre, there will always be a tiny dimple in the thin end where the point of the live centre holds it in place. It doesn’t affect function and doesn’t pick up ‘bindel’ (used lube/leftover skin tissue) and I do try to minimise this. The final hand sanding/polishing stage does reduce it to almost nothing, but I’m a perfectionist so feel the need to mention it.
Without the dimple it risks either not being properly round or not being held properly during machining or would require a lot more hand sanding and possibly changes the shape of the end. Also I’m not looking to get brained by a dilator breaking free of the lathe at 1000rpm. If I manage to find a way to engineer it out in future I’ll remove this message.
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